


fix my head, it’s pouring at the seams

by Evening_Winds



Series: factories [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, communication is great! but also hard!, i’m just. in love with the love they have for one another, leon is in a Bad place mentally but raihan’s there to support him, lots of talking and hugs and kisses and holding hands, me: casually pours my personal insecurities and bad coping mechanisms on leon, sorry pal but you know what they say: write what you know, spoilers: eventual proposal because i’m WEAK and a SAP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evening_Winds/pseuds/Evening_Winds
Summary: The kid smiled as they squeezed Raihan’s hand back, but their eyes were strangely blank. As if winning had been too easy.A new fear arose in Raihan’s heart.- - -aka raihan had a plan. but then, suddenly, everything changed, and he had more important matters to attend to.aka obligatory leon loses his champion title fic[includes references to the previous works in thefactoriesseries, but works as a stand-alone, too]
Relationships: Dande | Leon/Kibana | Raihan
Series: factories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619587
Comments: 10
Kudos: 126





	fix my head, it’s pouring at the seams

**Author's Note:**

> last fic in this series, and we jump straight from pre-canon to end/postgame. what a journey this has been! thank you so much to everyone who has read and enjoyed my fics, your feedback means the world to me. it’s been so fun and refreshing to do some proper creative writing for the first time in over 10 years. i’ve had a blast. <3 this one was a tough one to write, i hope you enjoy.
> 
> (also this ended up being way longer than i expected. just like _breakthrough_. yay?)
> 
> you know the drill: this is unbeta’d + english isn’t my first language so there’re probably some mistakes and general clunkiness, and the title is from Factories by Autoheart. please listen to it, it’s such a great song by a great band.

Raihan lost.

That wasn’t part of the plan.

He had had everything planned out way ahead of time, way before that strange kid had breezed through the Gym Challenge like it was nothing and made their way to the Champion Cup, before he had met them for the first time, even before Leon had endorsed them.

If only he had come up with his plan earlier – let’s say a year prior, before the previous Gym Challenge season – everything would have probably worked out perfectly fine.

Leon had been crowned Champion back when they were both fourteen, young and naïve, and the following year and every year after that, Raihan had been his opponent in the Championship Match. Every single year, always, without question. Raihan had managed to clear the Gym Challenge even in the two seasons when he had been a Gym Leader trainee (he still wasn’t sure how he had pulled that off; those two summers had gone by in a haze), and the years after that, he had taken advantage of the Gym Leaders’ right to take part in the Cup. Even though some years there had been some other challenger or two who almost made it to the end in Raihan’s stead, Raihan had pushed through, and the annual Raihan versus Leon face-off had remained a constant, unchanging fact.

Ten seasons, ten finale matches against Leon. Ten losses, too, but he honestly didn’t care about that anymore.

But this year, suddenly, things changed. The ten-year streak had been broken, and Raihan would not be facing Leon in the Championship Match this time. That was exactly what had been steadily filling him with more and more dread as he had kept an eye on the journey of that kid, the best friend of his boyfriend’s little brother. That fear had grown even more petrifying when he had battled them in Hammerlocke and handed them the Dragon Badge afterwards.

Now, that thing Raihan had been terrified of for months, the fear that had been a solid lump in the pit of his stomach all summer, was the reality he lived in. He should’ve seen it coming; that kid was something else, unnaturally good. Regardless, it came as a shock and left him numb – and, somehow, it simultaneously felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire.

Nevertheless, Raihan shook hands with the kid, congratulating them for a well-deserved victory, not really concentrating on the words that were falling from his mouth, all the while reminding himself to breathe, in and out, in and out, to not let his emotional turmoil show, to just go through the practiced motions, retain his laid-back public image and ignore the weight of the tiny box in his pocket.

Maybe this was for the best, Raihan tried to convince himself. Perhaps proposing right after the Championship Match, right there on the stadium pitch, would have been a bit too much, even for idiots of his and Leon’s caliber.

The roar of the audience was deafening, the lights of the stadium blinding. Raihan was getting overwhelmed by it all, and not in the usual good way, the way he had gotten used to feeling after a tough match like this. This was not how things were supposed to go.

The kid smiled as they squeezed Raihan’s hand back, but their eyes were strangely blank. As if winning had been too easy.

A new fear arose in Raihan’s heart. That fear was more paralyzing, more terrifying than anything he had ever felt before, and it made him forget all about his foiled plan.

_Could they be able to defeat Leon, too?_

\- - -

After only a few short days, the entire world turned upside down.

Galar had a new Champion, Leon had been dethroned, and Raihan could not believe any of it.

\- - -

It was pure agony, waiting for Leon.

Raihan sat in the locker room for what felt like an eternity, his mind awhirl, his mouth dried up, his foot tapping an erratic rhythm against the floor tiles. He felt like he was going to throw up any minute now.

How was his boyfriend faring? Leon had barely recovered from his battle with Eternatus when he was out and about again, barging right back into the spotlight, despite Raihan’s best efforts to stop him, to make him postpone the match and get some proper and well-deserved rest after everything that had transpired during the past few months.

“I have no time to lie in a hospital bed,” Leon had said then, placing his index finger on Raihan’s lips when he had tried to protest. “I have a title to defend.”

And now, if Leon was even half as hurt and shaken and upset as Raihan was, then…

The television screen in the locker room was showing yet another post-match interview with Leon. He was telling the media how proud he was of the kid he had endorsed and analyzing every little detail of the battle. Raihan couldn’t bring himself to look at it, to see Leon’s wide smile as he smoothly dodged any questions prying too deep into his own feelings at that moment.

Raihan wondered whether anyone else could tell that the smile Leon gave then was fake or if it was obvious only to him.

Eventually, _finally_ , the door to the locker room opened. Raihan lifted his face from his hands as Leon slipped inside, looking pale. Raihan noticed that his signature snapback was missing – hopefully some staff member had picked it up from the pitch. Leon kept his eyes on the floor as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it with a deep sigh.

Leon flinched at the noise Raihan caused as he scrambled to his feet, and when his eyes landed on Raihan, they were wide with shock.

Neither of them moved nor said a word for a good while, frozen in place.

Leon was the one to break the spell. “You’re… here…” He sounded astonished and so, so tired, the intonation of his words somewhere between a statement and a question.

Raihan offered him a compassionate smile. “Of course I’m here, darling. Where else?”

That’s when something broke in Leon. A myriad of emotions tried to get a hold of his face simultaneously, like floodgates opening, and then he was running into Raihan’s arms. Raihan caught him in a tight embrace and held him close as he finally gave himself the permission to cry, to tremble and weep, to let it all out. It broke Raihan’s heart into millions of tiny pieces, their razor-sharp edges stinging his chest, burning in his lungs.

“It’s okay. I got you,” he whispered into Leon’s hair. “Breathe with me.”

Raihan kept his own breathing even, every inhale and exhale coming in a steady rhythm, and it took all his willpower to do so. Leon’s breathing gradually calmed down but didn’t completely match Raihan’s slow pace.

“Rairai, please…” Leon’s voice was ragged and quiet and pleading, distorted by his sobs and the fabric of Raihan’s hoodie he had burrowed his face into. “Take me away from here…”

Raihan kissed Leon’s temple and held back his own tears as he pulled Flygon’s Ultra Ball out of his pocket.

“Where do you wanna go?”

\- - -

Leon wanted to go to the beach on the outskirts of Hulbury. The very same beach where they had reunited during their Gym Challenge. The beach where they had spent a sunny day full of laughter and a night full of stories. The beach where Leon had told Raihan that he wanted to become the Champion.

Leon had told Raihan, a few years ago, that it had been the first time he had revealed that dream to anyone.

A full circle, Raihan thought. How poetic. How bittersweet.

He was setting up the tent – it was the same one Leon had used during his first and only Gym Challenge. Raihan had sneaked into Leon’s apartment through the balcony to get it, alongside other things they would need on their escapade, while Leon had waited on the roof with Flygon. The same tent, the same beach, the same two boys, now all grown up, eleven years later. Raihan drove the last stake into the ground, lost in thought. Had it really been that long since their Gym Challenge together, since they had met for the first time, since they had become fast friends and rivals? The beach may not have changed much over the years, but everything was different now.

Once he had finished setting up their camp, Raihan looked around to locate Leon. He was standing by the edge of the water, looking far into the horizon, his profile illuminated by the slowly setting sun. He stood with his shoulders stiff, unmoving, aside from his hair which was caught in the gentle ocean breeze. The waves crashing to the shore reached his feet every now and then and soaked his sneakers. He didn’t seem to notice at all.

Raihan made his way to Leon’s side and took his hand in his, carefully lacing their fingers together. Leon relaxed a little and rested his head against Raihan’s shoulder but didn’t take his eyes off the horizon. His eyes were stunningly beautiful, as always, despite being red around the edges. Raihan gingerly kissed the crown of Leon’s head and got a quiet, absentminded hum in response.

And he waited until Leon was ready to talk.

The sun had almost touched the sea when Leon finally spoke. To Raihan’s surprise, he talked about that kid. “What are your thoughts on our new Champion?”

 _Our new Champion_. The words sounded so strange, coming from Leon’s mouth. It would take Raihan some time to get used to the fact that his Leon wasn’t the Champion anymore. He sighed. “There really is something peculiar about that kid, but I can’t quite pinpoint what it is,” he replied at length, curious to see where this conversation was going.

Leon nodded. “I didn’t notice it initially, back when they and their mother moved to the house next to ours, but…” He fell silent for a while. “It’s difficult to explain. As if there’s this otherworldly aura surrounding them. And sometimes, when I ran into them during the season, I could see an odd glimpse of something uncanny, unnerving, just a little bit off kilter in them. As if the whole world revolved around them, and they knew it full well. Am I making any sense?”

“Yeah.” Raihan didn’t completely understand everything Leon had said, but he _got_ it. Leon’s explanation made perfect sense, in a way. There really was something bizarre about that kid and Raihan just couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was off.

“I tried to keep them, and my brother, out of trouble,” Leon continued. “But in the end, despite everything, they were the one who saved the day, stopped Eternatus, became the Champion.” He shook his head. “And somehow it felt… strangely natural. Like that was the only possible outcome. Of course, they had showed promise before this spring, that’s why I endorsed them, but…”

Leon trailed off, searching for the right words.

Raihan waited, his eyes never leaving Leon’s face.

“Call it fate or whatever you will,” Leon whispered after a moment of silence, “but somehow, on that day in Postwick when I gave them and my brother their starters… Deep inside, I just knew. I tried to deny it, but I knew it would end like this. It was as if I had been stuck in a time loop and they were the force that would break me out of it. Still, I didn’t want it to break, not now, and yet…”

Raihan didn’t know what to say.

What was one even _supposed_ to say in a situation like this?

He gave Leon’s hand a squeeze, hoping it conveyed the right things.

The sun continued its gradual descent into the ocean’s embrace.

“I’m worried for them, though,” Leon said after a long pause. “They’re still so young,”

“But you were the same age when you became Champion,” Raihan retorted without thinking.

“Precisely. I know what I’m talking about,” Leon remarked with a dry smile that was closer to a grimace. “It’s a huge responsibility, being the Champion.”

“And you did a wonderful job with it, my beloved.” Raihan leaned down to kiss Leon’s forehead. “You’ve inspired so many people, and you will continue to be an inspiration to them. I would know, since I’m one of those people. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks.” There was a light dusting of red on Leon’s cheeks, and his smile was lopsided and small but a bit more genuine this time. “I’ll just have to make sure they have better adults around to help them than I did.”

There was a moment of silence before Leon’s expression turned somber again. “To be honest… it was starting to wear on me. The whole Champion business. Rose’s grasp on me had tightened over the years, and I didn’t really have time for my family, for you, for anything outside of being the Champion. Now I understand that he got me to trust him and his vision, kept me busy, tangled me in his puppet strings, so I wouldn’t disrupt his grand scheme.” He heaved a sigh. “It was exhausting, being kept on such a short leash, with next to no freedom.”

Rose. That manipulative scumbag. When Raihan had met him face-to-face for the first time at that dinner party all those years ago, he had gotten the feeling that the man was not as innocent and reliable as he had led everyone to believe. The things Rose had done around his Stadium shortly after he had become the Hammerlocke Gym Leader had raised his suspicions, too, but not enough to warrant butting heads with the most powerful man in Galar.

In hindsight, Rose had a knack for making people do what he wanted without them realizing it. Raihan had first-hand experience of it, and Leon was no exception.

And why would he have been?

Raihan mentally kicked himself for not putting two and two together sooner. He had noticed that, over the years, Leon had grown more restless, more agitated, more skittish. It had been a subtle change, and the general public probably didn’t suspect a thing. Still, he had never realized the situation had gotten this bad and what was the cause of it. There was a pang of guilt in his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s none of your business.”

Leon’s snappish tone startled Raihan almost more than his words did. Leon stiffened again, realizing what he had said. “No, wait, crap, that came out all wrong, I - -” His voice was trembling, his eyes wavering. As if by reflex, he moved half a step to the side, away from Raihan, unlacing their fingers in the process. Ready to flee.

“It’s okay,” Raihan whispered, taking a firm hold of Leon’s hand again and pulling him back to lean on him. “Everything’s okay.”

They were both quiet for a moment as Raihan gave Leon time to collect himself and his thoughts.

When Leon spoke, his voice shook. “I… didn’t want to be of trouble to anyone. Having those thoughts made me feel so ungrateful – I was _the Champion_ , for crying out loud. I had achieved a position most people could only dream about. I shouldn’t have had any reason to complain. So, I stayed silent about the whole thing and kept going the way I had been, avoiding any and all conflict, making sure not to inconvenience anyone.” He exhaled sharply. “I hate it when people worry and feel bad because of me…”

“Bottling up things like that isn’t good for you, Lee. You know that. We’ve talked about this.”

“I know,” Leon sniffled. “I know, but still… I hate being weak. I hate failing. I hate letting people down.”

“You’re not weak. You didn’t fail. And you haven’t let anyone down.”

“I truly want to believe you, but… It’s hard. It’s so damn hard.” Leon leaned closer to Raihan, his voice thick with unshed tears. It made Raihan’s heart ache. “And I try not to show it when things get hard. I’ll push and push myself past the breaking point, until I’m crumbling under the pressure of it all, and even then, I continue as if nothing’s wrong.” Leon scoffed and closed his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. “I’ve gotten pretty good at pretending that things are fine.”

“I’ve noticed.” Raihan kept his tone gentle and planted another kiss into Leon’s hair. “You really shouldn’t do that, love.”

“I’ll try to be better about it,” Leon agreed after a long pause. “At least now, with Rose gone, the new Champion can start things completely fresh. I’m genuinely happy for them, and proud. They’ll achieve wonderful things and work to make Galar a better place for everyone, I’m sure of it.”

“And… how do _you_ feel now, Lee?” Raihan asked. “About… not being the Champion anymore?” Leon still hadn’t properly touched on the subject, and it made Raihan more worried than he cared to admit. He had gotten used to losing, to the dry and bitter taste of defeat, but Leon… Well. He hadn’t been dubbed the unbeatable Champion for nothing.

And if there was anything Raihan had learned during the years they had known each other, it was that the deepest of fears were the ones Leon guarded the fiercest, and the sharpest of pains the ones he let fester for the longest.

This time, Leon was silent for so long that Raihan thought he would be left without an answer. But, after what felt like a lifetime, Leon spoke up. “Everything is just… so confusing. Despite everything… Even though I was expecting it… Even though I was getting tired of it all… I still feel so empty and hollow and numb, but it also hurts so much. Despite everything, I loved being the Champion. I loved it with all my heart.” The words left his lips with great difficulty, but the tears flowed easily and freely from his eyes. Leon wiped at his eyes with his free hand before he went on. “But still… I mean, it was inevitable. Nothing lasts forever. You’d think that I would’ve been mentally prepared for it.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh.

“Don’t say that. What you’re feeling right now is perfectly reasonable,” Raihan said. “With the way things had stayed the same for so long, it’s not surprising that the both of us had grown stagnant, accustomed to the way things were. Everyone had, really. The entire region. With that frame of reference, all of this was completely unexpected.”

Raihan’s words caused no visible reaction in Leon. He kept his teary eyes fixed on the horizon, contemplative. Leon’s voice was barely audible when he continued, “Still… Would all of this have been different, easier, if it had been you? If things hadn’t changed in that regard?” He sighed and shook his head slightly. “I don’t know. Perhaps. But… I always assumed that’s how it was going to play out eventually.”

Raihan stiffened. Leon hadn’t meant it as an accusation, he knew it, but the words still stung.

If only he hadn’t lost in the finals…

Raihan bit his lower lip. Nope, nope, nope. Self-accusations, or pointing fingers in general, were not of any help in this situation. Shake it off.

However, Leon noticed his distress. He always did. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“It’s just… as if I’m standing on a ledge, not knowing whether my feet will find purchase or not if I step off it,” Leon muttered. “Where do I go from here? Who even am I, what am I _supposed_ to be, if not Leon the Champion, Leon the undefeatable, Leon the perfect? For more than a decade, that’s all I was. There was no room for anything else.”

“Be just Leon, for starters,” Raihan said. “Concentrate on yourself for a while, not what others think of you and want you to be or do. Let yourself be selfish for a change and put yourself first.” He carefully wiped away the tears still running down Leon’s cheeks with the thumb of his free hand. “And I promise that, someday, the hurt will subside.”

Leon didn’t say anything, only let out a deep sigh and fell silent. At least he seemed to be considering Raihan’s words. Better than nothing, Raihan surmised.

He let a silence stretch between them. They listened to the sound of the waves crashing to the shore and the cry of a wild Wingull somewhere far away.

“At the end of the day, I suppose things can’t stay the same forever,” Raihan breathed into the stillness. “Change isn’t always pleasant and almost never easy, but things have to change. That’s just life. Only change can create new possibilities and bring forth progress.”

Leon stayed silent. If the situation had been different, he would’ve laughed heartily and rebuked Raihan for saying such cheesy things.

But… Things had changed.

It felt like the ring in Raihan’s pocket was going to burn a hole through his shorts. Despite what he had just said, he thought it would’ve been nice if things had stayed the way they were till the end of the summer.

He must’ve said it out loud, too, because Leon replied, “Yeah… But I - - we will survive this change.” Leon met Raihan’s gaze for the first time since they had arrived at the beach. His golden eyes were distraught, desperate, and the tears stuck to his lower lashes glimmered as they caught the last rays of the setting sun. “We’ll figure something out, together. Right?”

Raihan gripped Leon’s hand a little tighter.

“Of course. Together.”

After the evening spent on the beach and a dinner of curry and naan which Raihan prepared exactly to Leon’s tastes, they lay in their tent in each other’s arms. When Leon begun to shake and sob uncontrollably against Raihan’s chest again, Raihan held him gently, as if he’d shatter like glass otherwise, like he was the most precious thing in the world – and, to Raihan, he was. He petted Leon’s hair soothingly and whispered words of affection and consolation into the darkness surrounding them, until the both of them and their fragile hearts eventually drifted to a restless sleep.

\- - -

They woke up in a tangle of limbs and crumpled clothes stained with tears.

Leon was needed in Wyndon, so Raihan dropped him off there before heading back to his Gym in Hammerlocke. He would rather have stayed with Leon in Wyndon, but Leon assured Raihan that he’d be just fine; after all, they’d been in a pseudo-long-distance relationship for years, with both of them having their own obligations in their respective cities during the Gym Challenge season. Would it be any different now that they had new obligations during the off-season as well? For Raihan, those were overseeing the repairs of the Castle and getting everything back in working order, which would keep him in Hammerlocke for at least the rest of the year. For Leon, those meant PR work, mentoring the new Champion, getting the region back on its feet again, sorting out the mess Rose had left it in. And who knew how long that would take.

Leon was right. It didn’t make leaving him alone any easier for Raihan, though.

A few days later, during one of their video calls, Leon told Raihan that it was likely that he’d assume the role of Chairman in Rose’s stead sometime soon, too, at least for the time being. Raihan frowned at the dark circles that had started to form under Leon’s eyes and reminded him not to overwork himself.

Seemingly ignoring his sound advice, Leon called Raihan in the middle of the night a couple of days later. He had finally figured out what to do with the eyesore in the middle of Wyndon that reminded everyone of the things they’d rather forget about – Rose Tower.

“I’m going to rebrand it. It’ll become a Battle Tower,” Leon said before Raihan got the chance to scold him for being awake so late.

Raihan listened to his explanation, feeling more and more awake by the minute. It was a brilliant idea; challenging other Trainers had been one of Leon’s favorite things to do during the Gym Challenge journey. He hadn’t had much time to that for the past decade, especially whenever the Gym Challenge season was in full swing, with all the obligations and responsibilities he had to prioritize over it. Battling outside of the Champion Cup and exhibition matches had become a rarer and rarer treat for him over the years, and those planned matches weren’t nearly enough for a person who loved Pokémon and the thrill of battle as fiercely as Leon did. The stakes would also be lower for him than they were when he was the Champion, so it wouldn’t be nearly as mind-numbingly stressful.

A place where he could do what he loved, continue inspiring the entirety of Galar and help others grow stronger – it was the perfect fit for Leon.

“And, I was thinking…” Leon suddenly sounded nervous. “It was so much fun when I got to help you with the whole becoming a Gym Leader thing, so I was wondering if - -”

“Say no more.” Raihan was all smiles. “What do you want me to help you with, my dear?”

And Raihan helped him with it as much as he could, just like Leon had helped him back then. And he was happy, because he loved battling Leon, no matter the context. And he was happy for Leon, too, because whenever Leon was engaged in a Pokémon battle, it felt like he came alive in a brand new way; he focused on the moment, came up with new strategies on the fly and never held anything back. His eyes would sparkle and be full of determination, his brows furrowed in concentration and his expression serious whenever he didn’t have to think about an audience to entertain and media to please.

Seeing it all made Raihan feel alive, too, and he never got enough of it. Especially since he got to see it so rarely – outside of a few exhibition matches each year, the Champion Cup had been pretty much the only consistent way to face off with Leon, so that’s where he had headed year after year. However, as the years went by and he found a new passion in being a Gym Leader, getting the Champion’s crown had become a secondary goal. The most important thing was that he could battle Leon there, witness the fire burning inside him, behold the immense power of their Pokémon, smell the scorching grass, taste the grains of sand grating between his teeth, feel the heat of the stadium lights on his skin, hear the deafening cheers of the audience, sense the sparks of excitement flying through the air – and to see that, despite everything going on around them, he was completely at the center of Leon’s attention. No matter where they battled, there was nothing quite like it, and the connection he felt with Leon grew even stronger with every match.

Still, no matter how much Leon enjoyed his new job, Raihan noted that it all may have been too much too fast for him. Pushing his problems aside and drowning himself in work was not a healthy coping mechanism. The two of them were similar in that regard, weren’t they? Good at distracting themselves from difficult emotions by focusing on something else entirely. At least Raihan had made the conscious decision to try to be more in tune with the inner workings of his heart. Leon, on the other hand... He obviously needed some guidance on that front.

So Raihan forced Leon to slow down and _talk_ , first to him and then to a mental health professional. And it helped, slowly, over the following weeks that eventually turned into months.

Even so, as the end of the year drew closer and the Battle Tower established its status in the heart of the Galarian battle scene, it seemed like Leon didn’t allow himself to rest enough. He looked more tired in each video call than the last. He forgot things more often than usual. He frequently left Raihan’s daily good-night-I-love-yous on read only to apologize the next day, sometimes saying that he had been working overtime, sometimes offering no explanation at all. He closed in on himself again, built up his walls and fortifications, grew more and more distant.

Raihan had never felt so helpless.

He could not, would not allow any of it. He would not let his amazingly kind-hearted and stubbornly selfless fool of a boyfriend waste himself away like this.

No way.

So, on a whim, he bought Leon a train ticket to Wedgehurst to see his family and Sonia for the winter holidays for a full week, and another ticket to Hammerlocke to spend the rest of the year (and, incidentally, their seven-year dating anniversary) at Raihan’s place. A couple of weeks away from Wyndon would do him good, Raihan surmised. Plus, they hadn’t seen each other in person in weeks, which was nothing out of the ordinary – Raihan had his Gym to take care of, and Leon had had his Champion duties and now he had the Battle Tower which kept him in Wyndon.

Still, knowing Leon’s current mental state made Raihan miss him even more fiercely than usual. Something was definitely wrong, he could tell, even though Leon refused to talk about it with him.

\- - -

It looked like Raihan’s idea had had the effect he had hoped for. Leon had appeared to be a bit more chipper during their video call that morning.

Raihan was waiting outside the railway station. It was snowing, light as a whisper, just like it had been on a certain day in Wyndon all those years ago – that time, it had been Leon waiting for Raihan’s train to arrive, not the other way around. The memory of what had happened later that day brought an embarrassed smile and a blush on Raihan’s face.

He was allowed to feel sappy and nostalgic, right? Today was their anniversary, after all.

Lucky number seven.

Raihan checked the pocket of his jeans. The tiny box was still there, as it had been the previous Arceus knows how many times he had checked. He sighed, turned his face towards the sky and shivered as snowflakes melted on his heated cheeks.

Maybe, just maybe, after months of mulling over the right words to say and waiting for the right time to come, he’d get another shot at his foiled plan tonight.

Leon’s train was delayed.

Raihan had retreated inside the station, out of the cold, and had been scrolling away on his Rotom Phone for well over an hour when he heard a familiar voice. “Hi.”

And there Leon was, with his luggage in tow. A small smile quirked his lips, but there was an unusual, heartbreaking frailness visible in his eyes. Raihan’s Rotom Phone whirred and beeped around them as he got to his feet to pull Leon into a tight embrace. He could feel Leon trembling slightly against him.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Raihan whispered into Leon’s hair.

Leon didn’t reply, only clutched the back of Raihan’s coat like his life depended on it. He escaped the circle of Raihan’s arms way too soon and avoided his gaze. There was no way Leon would be this uneasy only because his train got delayed.

Raihan steeled himself. He’d get to the bottom of this yet.

In the meantime, he took Leon by the hand and guided him to his apartment.

\- - -

Raihan prepared some tea in the kitchen, the spicy blend he chose a perfect fit for the chilly weather. One sugar cube for him; milk and two spoonfuls of sugar for Leon. Raihan watched the snowfall through the window and wondered what he should do to break the tension lingering in the air between him and Leon.

He made his way back to the living room and saw that Leon was sitting on the couch, knees brought to his chest, bundled in a blanket. Raihan offered him the mug of hot tea and a warm smile. “How have you been holding up, dear?”

Leon took the mug but didn’t return the smile. “I… I’ve had a lot on my mind, is all,” he said, his spoon clinking against the mug as he begun to stir his tea. “Okay, maybe that’s an understatement,” he added with a sigh.

Maybe being direct was the best course of action. “I think you’ve been taking steps in the right direction. Having something new to do and focus on is a good thing, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to completely push aside the difficult and painful things. There’s something that’s been bothering you lately, that much is obvious to me. If you don’t acknowledge and deal with those feelings, let them out, put them into words…” Raihan stopped himself with a sigh before he started rambling. He sat down on the couch sideways, one leg folded under him, facing Leon. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you, Lee. I’m here. I’m listening.”

“Obvious, huh? You know me too well.” Leon’s serious expression softened a little when glanced at Raihan from the corner of his eye. “Put them into words…? Where should I even begin?” He was quiet for a while as he focused on sipping his tea. “I guess what it comes down to is that… change scared me. But it’s like you said; things cannot stay the same forever. That’s not how life works.” His expression grew solemn again. “And that’s what I’ve been coming to terms with. Now that I’ve found ways to deal and cope with everything…”

Leon fell silent. He seemed to be considering his next words carefully. He directed his words at the mug of tea in his hands when he spoke. “It really messed with my head, becoming the Champion when I was so young and retaining the title for so long. How the pressure to succeed was eating me alive from such a young age, without me even realizing. How it constantly occupied my mind and kept me away from all the other things I enjoyed. How I was always second guessing whether people genuinely cared about me or if they only saw the façade, the things I did and accomplished, the possibility that they could benefit from me in some way. How I tied my sense of self-worth to my role as the Champion.” He stared at the mug in his hands, the rippling surface of the tea in it as he swirled it around. “I felt like people could readily ignore and discard me as soon as I wasn’t useful to them anymore... So, I had to make sure to stay useful, work myself to the bone to be worthy of anyone’s time.”

Raihan knew most of this already; it was one of the topics they had talked about before Leon had started bottling things up again. He knew, but it didn’t make him any less distressed. Still, he sensed that, right now, Leon needed someone to just listen to him more than to hear comforting words. He kept his expression open and understanding as he waited for Leon to continue.

Leon’s mug was half-empty by the time he continued. “When you told me to just be Leon... I wasn’t sure if I knew what that meant,” he said with smile that was barely noticeable and full of self-pity. He downed his remaining tea in one go before he went on. “Being the Champion had become such a major part of my identity and I still feel like I’m missing a part of myself, like there’s this gaping hole in my soul I can’t fill. But… It doesn’t hurt as badly as it used to. Little by little, I’m getting better, rediscovering myself.”

A benevolent sigh escaped Raihan’s lips. “You will always be one of Galar’s Champions, and the longest-reigning and most beloved one at that. It will always be a part of you, and it will continue to shape you in the future… Letting go of something that was such a major part of your life isn’t easy. Getting over it, dealing with the aftermath of a big change like that will take some time. You can’t hurry the process along, recovery takes time…” Raihan trailed off, searching Leon’s face. “Is that why you’ve been so distant with me?” he asked. “Or is there still something else?”

Leon tensed, evaded Raihan’s eyes, opened his mouth just to close it again. That silence was more telling than any words. Raihan put away both of their mugs on the coffee table – Leon’s empty one and his own which he had barely touched – and gently placed his hand on Leon’s knee. He didn’t pull away. That was a good sign.

“I know that you’ve been having a hard time,” Raihan said softly, “and that it’s difficult for you to accept help, that you have a tendency to suffer in silence. But if there is anything I can do to help you, I want to do it. Just… Don’t shut me out, my love. Please.”

The blanket fell off Leon’s shoulders when the turned to face Raihan. There was an air of anguish radiating from him, the turmoil raging within him peeking through. Raihan took hold of Leon’s hands, twining their fingers together. Leon let him.

“There is something I haven’t told you,” Leon began at length. “I spoke to Sonia about it a couple of days ago and she said – in the most loving way possible, but still – that I’m the stupidest idiot she knows for even considering such things and that I shouldn’t have kept it from you in the first place. And she’s right, like she tends to be. So…” He turned his eyes away and drew a few steadying breaths. “It’s stupid, and I’m so embarrassed, but… I was scared that you would be one of… _those_ people.”

“What do you mean?” Raihan asked, puzzled.

“I mean… that I wouldn’t be as important to you now that I wasn’t the Champion anymore.” Leon hung his head down to hide behind his bangs.

“Lee…”

“It was the fear that made the least sense, I knew it in my heart, but still it was the biggest and scariest one, and the toughest one to face, and I was so ashamed and detested myself for believing such things, and some twisted part of me thought it would be easier to just distance myself before I got left behind - -”

“Lee,” Raihan interrupted gravely, and the tone of his voice made Leon meet his eyes again. “No matter how hard your confused brain tries to convince you otherwise, I would never do such a thing. We’ve always been friends first and rivals second, not to mention I was crushing on you before you even became the Champion. It may have taken me years to realize, but that’s the truth. And sure, I wanted to be the Champion, too, but you were always more important to me than the title. You were, and are, my number one priority.” He squeezed Leon’s hands tighter. “And even though things change, even though the world changes, my love for you will always stay.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry - -”

“Don’t be.”

“No. Let me be. I need to apologize,” Leon retorted, teary-eyed. “I should’ve told you this sooner and not left you in the dark. You make me whole and I feel like I can truly just be myself around you and I never should have doubted you. And even though I realized how absurd the whole idea was… it was a relief to hear you say those things.”

Raihan gave him a reassuring smile. “Alright. Apology accepted.” He leaned in to plant a kiss on Leon’s forehead before he continued, “Look, despite everything, Champion or not, I know who you are at your core; you’ll always be Leon, always kind and charming and inspiring and ridiculous and so unbelievably _stubborn_ and _dense_ \- -”

“Hey!” Leon tried to feign offence but failed to conceal the delight in his voice and the smile tugging at his lips. Raihan grinned right back at him.

“…and selfless and funny and breathtaking and talented and full of surprises and so adorable it’s almost unfair,” Raihan concluded. He brought one of Leon’s hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You’re all of those things and more, indescribable by mere words. You’re Leon, the one who never fails to make me smile, the one who gives it his all in every situation, the one who always pushes me to be a better person, the one who always shines the brightest. And that’s the person I fell in love with, who I am in love with. And that will never change.”

The blush that rose to Leon’s cheeks was the most wonderful thing Raihan had ever seen. “I love you too, so, so much, more than anything,” Leon whispered as a smile bloomed on his tear-streaked face. The smile was smaller than it had used to be, but it was genuine. One of joy. It lit up his entire being.

Raihan had missed that smile. He would do everything in his power to protect it, to be able to see it every day for the rest of his life.

“You’re always so patient with me, and…” Leon’s gaze shifted to their entwined hands and then back to Raihan. There was a warmth in his eyes, a sudden spark of something akin to resolve. “Look, Rairai, there’s something I’ve been meaning to - -”

Raihan cut him off him again, this time with a quick kiss on the lips. An unfair move, sure, but it worked. “Sorry, my one and only, but I’m not finished just yet,” he said. The pout on Leon’s face told him that he wasn’t happy about the interruption, but Raihan was determined. No hesitation. These improvised words – they were better than any speech he could ever compose, even if he rehearsed for three thousand years.

It may be reckless, but this was it.

“I’m always here to support you, through the thick and thin, and we’ll figure all of this out together…” Raihan took the box out of his pocket as he stood up, hiding it in the palm of his hand. He could feel Leon’s eyes in him.

No hesitation, remember?

He drew a deep breath, got on one knee in front of Leon and met his eyes.

Leon brought his hands up to cover his mouth and stared in stunned silence.

“Originally, my plan was to do this after this year’s Championship match, but… Well. You know.” Raihan faltered, glanced away and let out a nervous bark of laughter. He could feel his face heating up. “That was a pretty dumb idea, wasn’t it?” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked straight into Leon’s eyes again. “But…”

Raihan opened his hand and presented the box to Leon. Then, with practiced flourish, he opened the box to reveal an elegant gold ring. The color of Leon’s eyes.

He drew a deep breath. “I love you, Lee, and I want to spend the rest of eternity with you. If you’ll have me.”

The tears that begun to stream down Leon’s face made no sound, flowing like raindrops on a windowpane. And then, to Raihan’s dismay, he started to laugh.

Raihan froze. He could feel his heart sinking, panic swelling in his chest. The timing was wrong after all, he had it all wrong, right from the start, this was the worst idea ever, oh no oh no oh n- -

“Oh no, Rairai, I’m so sorry - - Don’t look so shocked, it’s not what you think - - Ah, crap, just give me a minute…” Leon stammered, voice cracking, hiding his face in his hands. Raihan wasn’t sure whether the silent tremors that shook Leon’s body were because of sobbing or laughter. He felt the urge to run, to get away, but forced himself to stay still. He bit his tongue, ignored the burning behind his eyes and the lump in his throat and waited.

Leon shook his head, but his voice was gleeful when he spoke. “I can’t believe you shut me up with a kiss just to steal my thunder…” His hands fell from his face to reveal a wide smile. “Our rivalry is still going strong. I guess that’s another thing that’ll never change.”

Raihan didn’t comprehend anything Leon was saying.

Leon fished something out of his pocket as he continued to speak. “I had a whole speech prepared, but since my set-up got ruined… I guess I’ll just wing it."

Leon slid off the couch and settled next to Raihan, mirroring his pose - -

Raihan stared at the box resting on the palm of Leon’s hand and forgot how to breathe.

“Great minds think alike, I suppose,” Leon chuckled. “You see, I had the exact same plan as you did, and I was supposed to try again tonight, and that’s what I would’ve done if you hadn’t decided to be such a sneaky little sod at just the right moment. So…”

Leon opened the box in his hands, and inside was a golden band with a single masterfully cut gemstone set into it.

The whole universe stood still for a moment.

Tears suddenly stung Raihan’s eyes and relieved laughter bubbled in his chest. He let it all out. “So… I guess that’s a yes, then,” he said.

“Yes, yes, holy Arceus, _yes_ ,” Leon exclaimed and threw himself into Raihan’s arms. Raihan caught him and held him and neither of them could stop the tears from falling from their eyes and the smiles from escaping from their hearts as they pressed their lips together again and again and again.

Raihan rested his hands on Leon’s shoulders. “I’m sorry for being a sneaky little sod and messing up your plan. I didn’t mean to, my dear rival,” he laughed. It made his cheeks hurt. “I’d like to hear that speech of yours, though,” he added.

Smiling, Leon wiped the tears from Raihan’s eyes. “Apology accepted,” he said and pecked the corner of Raihan’s smirking mouth. “As for the speech… Maybe later.”

“I’m looking forward to that,” Raihan said and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Leon’s ear. He let his hand linger there, caressing the side of Leon’s face. Leon leaned to the touch, his eyes sparkling and brimming with warmth.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Raihan whispered, mesmerized.

Leon scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Only about five billion times, I reckon.”

“Really? I thought it’d be six billion by this point. I gotta to pick up the pace.” His words made Leon blush and playfully punch his shoulder. Raihan grinned and continued in a more serious tone, “From the very first day, at the opening ceremony of the Gym Challenge, I was drawn to you.”

“You caught my eye then, too. And when we ran into each other on Route 3…”

“I scared the crap out of you.”

Leon chuckled. “That you did. And then Sonia did the same to you.”

“And I almost fled because of that.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I’m so glad you stayed.” Leon closed his eyes pressed his forehead against Raihan’s. “And then, that day on the beach, when you caught up with me after the second Gym… You have no idea how relieved and overjoyed I was to see you again. It was one of the happiest days of my life.”

Raihan smiled. “Same here.”

“And every day after that.” Leon opened his eyes and beamed at Raihan. “Because we were together, and you were my friend, and I knew it would last. Because I slowly fell for you, and I fell for you hard, and it ended up being mutual.”

“Lee…” Raihan was at a loss of words, his eyes welling with tears again. All of this was suddenly too much for his poor heart to take. So, instead of relying on words, he opted to cupping Leon’s face with his hands and kissing him, and he poured everything into the kiss, every last ounce of love and adoration he had for Leon. Leon smiled into his mouth as he kissed him back.

When they pulled apart for air, Leon allowed Raihan only two intakes of breath before he pressed his mouth to his again. Raihan laughed, breathless, and it made Leon laugh, too, and it was difficult to keep kissing when both parties involved were giggling like there’s no tomorrow.

Once they had calmed down, there were tears trickling down Leon’s face. Raihan could taste their saltiness as he proceeded to keep kissing Leon, on the side of his mouth, his cheeks, his forehead, the tip of his nose. The tiny sounds of bliss that Leon made set his heart on fire.

“Rairai… Just… Thank you for everything. For staying by my side,” Leon said in a hushed tone, voice full of affection, his fingers playing with Raihan’s dreads. “I would’ve been so lost without you.”

“Literally or figuratively?” Raihan teased in between peppering Leon’s face with kisses.

Leon laughed through his tears, and it was sunshine reincarnated as sound. “Both.”

**Author's Note:**

> _“Changes were the essence of life; one should not dread change.”  
>  – Robin Hobb, Mad Ship_
> 
> from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading – whether you only read this fic or the entire series. thank you.  
> and, one last time, let me know what you think i guess. peace out!
> 
> \+ the discussion leon and raihan have about the pc was just me wondering how npcs would view the protagonist – the main game of swsh wasn’t super difficult (i’m yet to clear the battle tower, tho), so how would they react to this random child who suddenly was able to kick everyone’s butts without breaking a sweat? maybe a bit meta but i decided to leave that bit there
> 
> \+ during leon’s visit to wedgehurst/postwick:  
> sonia: lee, you should stop being so unbelievably dense and just propose. what are you so afraid of? there’s no way he’s gonna tell you no, that guy has been head over heels with you for a decade. plus i know you’ve been carrying that ring around everywhere you go for six months now.  
> leon: nine, actually  
> sonia: that’s even worse, you absolute idiot!!! just marry him already!!!


End file.
